There is something so freeing about letting go, just taking a deep breath and allowing your negative thoughts to escape from your mind. But as many of us know, this is easier said than done. And I will be the first to admit that it is much easier to read about how to change your mindset than to actually make the change.
One aspect of my life that I am working to improve is my attitude toward my relationships. It is so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts. But I don’t mean negativity toward other people — I mean negativity about ourselves.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a habit of comparing myself to other people. While this habit has slowly but surely worn off when it comes to grades or lifestyle choices, there is one thing that I still can’t help but think about, and that is my relationships with my friends and the fear of missing out. But instead of projecting this negativity toward my relationships with others and blaming myself for not being “good enough” or “fun enough” or “interesting enough” to be around, I need to recognize that this is all in my mindset and make a change.
Taking a deep breath and letting go of this resentment and negativity can do wonders for you. Today while doing a guided meditation by Joanna Garzilli (she is awesome, go check her out), I thought of a friend of mine. I thought of how much built-up resentment I had for our relationship. And after meditating on this, I realized that I had projected my insecurities and my own struggles onto this friend, causing there to be tension in our relationship. I felt down when when she chose to spend her time with other people instead of me, thinking that she did not see me as a good enough friend anymore, and I felt saddened when I thought of the two of us growing apart. This led to me feeling negatively toward her and our relationship. I felt as though there had grown to be so much distance between us, and I felt so down, distraught, and often annoyed because of it. I often didn’t know what to do, and stopped making an effort to make plans with her, thinking I was just not good enough to be her friend anymore.
But growing apart from friends is a part of life. While we control our own lives, we cannot control others, and we shouldn’t feel so negative toward other people because of resentment and our own insecurities we feel about ourselves. Harboring negativity will not make my relationship with this friend any better. Feeling “not good enough” when she does not want to hang out with me will not cause her to realize how much I do value my friendship with her. These feelings were simply driving me further and further away from speaking my mind and opening up. In meditating and thinking about our relationship, I realized that she is not at fault for my negative feelings, and I can release them and be free of these thoughts if and when I want to. This idea was so freeing to me.
After meditating on this topic and learning to release the negativity, I know it is time to actually make the change. We often think about releasing negativity when it comes to letting go of negative people in our lives, but sometimes we feel this negativity within ourselves, and when we do, we need to recognize it.
We are in complete control of our own lives. But that also means that everyone else is also in complete control of theirs.
Make the change. Release the negativity. Instead, radiating love and positivity out into the world and into others will only lead to more. I recognize and understand that there is absolutely no reason to harbor negative feelings about others, and especially not about ourselves. How can we expect to feel love from others if we cannot feel it for and about ourselves? Releasing these negative thoughts can only lead to less. I challenge myself and you reading this to do so. Let’s make the change.
Thank you for reading.