“The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person’s solitude.” I heard this quote today and immediately thought of Christopher. And I immediately thought — wow, that is so true.
As a couple of introverts, Chris and I value peace and quiet spaces more often than noisy ones, and we often find ourselves staying home most nights and weekends in the comfort of our apartment. It has been this way throughout the majority of our relationship. And we love it !
But something that I have come to appreciate over time is the value of being alone. While I am introverted, I very much enjoy having the company of another person — a friend, a family member, and over the past two and a half years, Chris. One of our favorite things to do together is sitting in a room, me on the bed reading a book or typing away on my computer, Chris at the desk studying or playing League, both of us in silence and looking at the other every so often with a smile. This is home to us. This is one of the best feelings.
However, Chris also really values alone time. He loves having his space to wind down by himself, to be with his computer or his phone or his thoughts, to lay in bed during golden hour and just breathe, just be. And in the beginning of our relationship, I would often feel a little left out. When in reality, I didn’t realize that I valued the exact same thing, just at different times.
I love my alone time, too. I love having my space every single morning to wake up, drink something warm and cozy, sit at my desk or upright on my bed, breathe, journal, or watch something online. I love having this time of solitude when I can be truly alone and feel so grateful to be alive. It makes me feel centered and ready to conquer the world as soon as I decide I am ready to that day. This form of solitude is not unlike Chris’s — it just comes at another time of the day.
Chris and I know to give each other this space. I have realized how much he appreciates it when I let him be, and he knows how much I value my soft mornings in my own time. And I think this truly is a sign of our love, devotion, and respect for one another. We honor each others’ peace.
And peace and solitude is something that I will protect every day.